wildcat

On the whole, the World of Tomorrow is a bit shit. I realized, this morning, that it really is the future, only it's some hack writer's prognostication from a small-press science fiction magazine published round about 1976. There was a commerical on the television for a product called "Toothbrush Tunes," an electric toothbrush that plays music inside your mouth while you brush your teeth, two-minute songs designed to encourage children to brush their teeth for that full two minutes.

Imagine it: waking up half-choked by the bedsheets and then stumbling down a poorly lit hallway in your adult-sized Spider-Man underoos, clawing around for the lightswitch as you crash into the bathroom. Imagine glaring at yourself in the mirror, yawning, and then applying coconut-flavoured paste onto your Dentomuse or whatever, shoving it in your mouth and brushing your teeth as they vibrate embarassingly with the opening strains of "Mustang Sally," not quite sounding right as it hums over your nasal cavity and down your throat. You really hate tomorrow. You hate tomorrow all day long.

Welcome to the dead-end future.