wildcat

1. Frank Sinatra walks into a nightspot in Vegas, maybe over by the Bellagio, probably just off the set of Ocean's Eleven and in desperate neat of a nice, well-put-together martini. And a pretty girl. He sits down at the bar and jaws with the bartender for a while until this looker comes in looking like a showgirl from the Crusades; Joan of Arc sidles up for some water and a crust of bread and Frank naturally tries to put the moves on her. Especially when he finds out she's a French chick! Joan talks about her boyfriend, God, too much and doesn't appreciate Frank's impertinence. Frank spends a good five minutes wondering what his buddy Dean would do. Ends with a jazzy dance tune as the credits roll and Joan walks in silhouette through Vegas, against those lights, with a bouffant hairdo and her head down.

2. Guy ends up possessed by the disembodied spirit of a serial killer named the Finger-Snatcher, who forces him to perpetrate further crimes with precise attention paid to style, because she's got a reputation to uphold and doesn't want him to be written off as a copycat. Eventually they reach an understanding and end up living as a kind of odd couple in a little apartment in Ohio, bickering all the time. She causes all kinds of trouble when his parents come to visit, you can be sure!

3. Lonely baker sits in the bakery at five in the morning, preparing the loaves of bread and cakes for the day, only he accidentally falls madly in love with one of his own birthday cakes. Some mildly disturbing scenes of frosting debauchery; the whole things is lamented by the critics as a "Tawdry Remake of American Pie as French farce."