Well, I bought a new mobile phone today. It has a camera in it, because apparently you can't actually buy them without cameras anymore. The old one, god rest its cluttered soul, has basically begun to have repeated seizures after six years of use, as one does. The new phone is mostly great, but the text messaging seems to be disabled for some unknown reason, so I have to be a big boy and call customer service tomorrow and figure out what the problem is, especially as texting is part of my package and such. I feel as though the attempt to upgrade to more modern technology has, as usual, foiled me completely because of that weird telekinetic glitching thing I do.
Meanwhile, because I'm too gay to function, I'm really enjoying the new Madonna album.
Anyway: this has been another missive from soulless consumer hell. Please insert one token for further data transmission.