wildcat

I've taken Tylenol, Vitamin B12, Vitamin C, and Echinacea. I'm drinking water. I was something not unlike a mess today with the weak social skills and the inability not to breed anxiety out of everything. But I got to see Michael and we figured out what's involved in taking the Clipper and bitched at length about the fucked-up nature of people hiring us to write copy or do web design without specifying key elements. And we ate sushi and Michael had ice cream, and he bought some socks. I suppose I was sour, but that's mostly just the emotional wasteland in my head. He asked if I was depressed and I suppose I am, which isn't a big surprise, but it isn't life-changing depression. It's just the mid-November blahs, and can be cured by saying shut the fuck up to other responsibilities and getting some quality time with my boyfriend, yo, and some focus on my actual writing - rather than technical bull, or copy.

So tomorrow is our trip to Seattle. I'm excited, now that my head clears up a bit and I can think straight. I know what clothes I want to take with. I'm going to take Atonement and a draft copy of "Orange Ballerina Socks" with me - I figure I can do some work on the draft on the boat, because that's not really work if I'm not worrying about everything else while I do it. That's just writing, and even at my most compulsive, even at my weirdest, that's just part of who I am and doing it doesn't kill me that much. It feels closer to living. We talked about where we're going to go and what we're going to look at; there's a giant bookstore Michael spoke of, he couldn't remember the name. I wonder if I can find cool books in it, like more Kathy Acker or Jeanette Winterson's Boating for Beginners. Or poetry. Or, you know, books in general. I can't go buying more of them. Maybe a graphic novel will say something to me other than "Hi."

I'm more excited about this big market we're going to, or the University of Washington campus. Big things with people in them for us to look at. I want us to try a different kind of cuisine - as long as it isn't fusion, because fusion is for rich people and is therefore never in any large amount that might satisfy - because I always enjoy the chance to broaden my culinary range. And I'm going to bring the digital camera to play with because there's this whole new urban environment to wander around in. Cities and the slow destruction of nature, just waiting to be caught in pixels. Whee!