(said at the tail end of a long day, about midnight, as a group of drunk foreigners watch the approaching train -- which is packed -- and stealthily uncap their bottles of beer)
It was Becky's birthday yesterday -- she's 25 and shell-shocked -- so we had plans to make a day of it as she, Matt and I, plus this girl named C, had the day off.
1. We decide to go to an amusement park because we have four free tickets! Alas, Matt is in charge of two of the tickets and they have disappeared into the ether. We look everywhere, call everyone, text the rest. Three of us actually go into M's workplace, forcibly dressed in our work duds, to sift through the garbage. No dice. We come home and rifle through some more garbage, then eat day-old croissants and give up.
(I just realize as I write this that it sounds as though we found the croissants in the garbage. We did not.)
2. Becky wants to go to a maid cafe! So off we go to Akihabara, the planet's largest electronic shopping district and a veritable Tower of Babel erected by nerds. The nerds like maid cafes so there are lots of them there; we go to one called Cute-M and order expensive drinks. The maids kneel to pour sugar and cream into our coffee and stir it in. We were a little disappointed that there were no dancing girls or lurking gangsters, but, this is the best customer service in Tokyo!
3. Lunch at a Mexican restaurant in Shinjuku. The swarthy South American waiter spoke English, which is a luxury that can not be overstated seeing as I am a vegetarian and can't read kanji. He ruled.
HIM: Where are you from?
ME: Noborito.
HIM: No burrito? There is no such thing! We have plenty of burritos!
4. Almost saw a movie, but the only decent thing playing was The Pursuit of Happyness, and I was not in the mood for Heartwarming, so Matt and I went home.
5. Later that night, a Thai bar in Shimokitazawa with a shwack of people. Two drunken British girls in our party pissed off a couple of yakuza (Japanese Mafia) at the next table by trying to take (not so) subtle photos of their facial tattoos! Hilarity all around! Although, they were more intrigued and smitten than pissed off, so perhaps they were not really yakuza ... Our waiter had a t-shirt on the said something along the lines of "Drink Responsibly" on the front and 'Home of Jack Daniels" on the back. There till midnight, then off to the train station, where we waited for the last train as the other Japanese commuters left at least six disgusted feet of space on all sides of us, prompting the Irishman to shout, as the overcrowded train lumbered into view, "Which is the lucky carriage that gets US!"
6. Karaoke.
(Familiar to most of you I think, but worthy of eternal contemplation. -Joy)
1.Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2.Submissive to everything, open, listening
3.Try never get drunk outside your own house
4.Be in love with your life
5.Something that you feel will find its own form
6.Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7.Blow as deep as you want to blow
8.Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9.The unspeakable visions of the individual
10.No time for poetry but exactly what is
11.Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12.In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13.Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14.Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15.Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16.The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17.Write in recollection and amazement for yrself
18.Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19.Accept loss forever
20.Believe in the holy contour of life
21.Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22.Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23.Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24.No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25.Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26.Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27.In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28.Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29.You're a Genius all the time
30.Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven
Do we excommunicate celebrities in the same way the Catholic Church once shunned their heretics? Anna Nicole Smith, cold not two weeks and already mocked in such respectable news dailies as the Globe and Mail. Britney Spears a laughingstock due to drinking and shaving her head: all because she is a mother, and not Colin Farrell.
Today we paid a co-worker 500 yen to staple a Kleenex to his own leg, which he did.
Two Conversations About the Same Thing:
1.
ME: Are you just *pretending* to be angry with me, because secretly you think I'm really cute?
MATT: No! I'm serious! Don't pick through the trash and bring things home!
2.
ME: Stop whining. It's so unattractive when men whine.
MATT: Well, *I* think it's unattractive when women scavange.
Anyway, we have a new bookshelf now. It rules!
[Edit --
ME: I just updated about you.
MATT: Oh, really? Did you talk about my hysterics at the junk heap? What kind of light did you paint me in *this* time?
End edit.]
Alice Munro rocks! She has a simpler, less flashy style than Margaret Atwood -- witness the above quote -- and yet the words, the quiet, plain sentences, are glittering travesties of emotion. Maybe I am Atwood, and Emily is Munro? Ben, of course: a dangerous and schizophrenic mixture of Burroughs and Jane Austen. Caroline is what Andy Warhol would have been had he written. Steph is Pauline Kael but with more intelligent views.
Just finished Bram Stoker's Dracula. Wow! A novel of fear: fear of death, of life, of women, of men, of blood, of purity, of sexuality, of homosexuality, of female sexuality, of the East, of Foreigners, of God, of Satan, of mother figures, of father figures, of non-convention, of convention, of women again, of insanity, of genius, of carnality, of power, and again, of women. This book contradicts itself so much that it's just got to be intentional. Enjoyed every blood-sucking drop!
Gave notice at Work today. Much calamity and scandal ensued. It's a long story. Plans: Kyoto in March, possibly (likely) Canada for two weeks in August! First thing I shall do is kiss the front door at Floyd's Diner, then probably rage against the absence of 99 yen shops. Such is the nature of adjustment, and immaturity ...
Received a rare email from my youngest brother J today. He is a mad genius.
My neighbourhood is an actual slum, which appalls me to no end on days when the Fear comes to sink its claws into my forehead and wrench, wrench, wrench; other days I'm almost proud of this place, its blatant refusal to appear affluent, the way it veritably flaunts its despair and misery. I'm thinking here of the scent of rotten rice that is forever in the air; the miserable and raped stray cats who stare at me hungrily from large cages of trash; drunken salarymen, 8 pm in the evening, their thin bodies curled around big orange pylons at the train station as their vomit dries on the pavement beside them; the blare of pachinko parlour; the cigarette smoke and spilt sake and cheap booze and fading neon light. The block I live on, with its rows of brick apartment buildings stained with soot and refuse, reminds me of that old Paul Simon song about tenement halls and graffiti and prophets. When the sun shines, it's almost pretty.
I had a powerful urge today to live in a condominium, 30th floor, in some bustling metropolis like New York or Vancouver, and have a queen-sized bed pushed up to the window: I would lie on this bed for hours, observing the people living out their lives on the shining streets below. I would cultivate an air of misunderstood genius, and eat sliced vegetables from a silver platter.
RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense.
NO CHEATING!
How are you feeling today?
Papa Was a Rodeo - Magnetic Fields (well, ok. I'm certainly subdued.)
Will you get far in life?
Son of Sam - Elliot Smith (notoriety!)
Will you get married?
How Soon - Martha Wainwright (!)
What is your best friend(s)'s theme song?
Story - Tom Waits (Ben: Is it true?)
What is the story of your life?
Elevator Love Letter - Stars (hmm)
What was/is/will high school like?
Dead Disco - Metric (fairly accurate I'd say)
How can you get ahead in life?
Dead and Lovely - Tom Waits (ouch! To quote Kim Deal: "If you're so famous / Why aren't you dead")
What is the best thing about your friends?
Living Proof - Cat Power (aww)
What is in store for this weekend?
Son of a Bitch to the Core - the Headstones (oh my!)
To describe your grandparents?
How Fucking Romantic - Magnetic Fields (Good God!)
How is your life going?
Touch You Touch You - Hot Hot Heat
How does the world see you?
This Island - Le Tigre (I like islands)
Will you have a happy life?
Welcome Back - John Sebastian (I could analyze this for days)
What do your friends really think of you?
Combat Baby - Metric (is it true?)
Do people secretly lust after you?
Short Skirt Long Jacket - Cake (sounds like a Yes to me!)
How can I make myself happy?
Living a Country Song - Rae Spoon (seriously? I'll think about it)
What should you do with your life?
Imagine - John Lennon & the Plastic Ono Band (sweet)
Will you ever have children?
Gulf War Song - Moxy Fruvous (does this mean adoption?)
| You Are Surrealism |
 It's very likely that you've either dabbled in drugs or are naturally trippy. You are always trying to push beyond the boundaries of your culture and society. You believe that art, love, and freedom can change the world. |
It was pay day today, so I bought books! In no particular order:
1. The World's Wickedest Women, by Andrew Ewart. First published in 1964. Bound in cloth! Chapter 2: Sappho the Lesbian.
2. Kiss Kiss, by Roald Dahl. I read this ages ago and found it psychotic. Nice to have it back!
3. Down and Out in Paris and London, by George Orwell. I've never read Orwell's non-fiction before, and I'm looking forward to it IMMENSELY.
4. Runaway: Stories, by Alice Munro. Because it's been too long since my last Munro fix.
5. The Eagle's Gift, by Carlos Castaneda. I've never read even a sentence of Castaneda's stuff, though his well-illustrated covers always call out to me in dingy second-hand bookshops. The time has come!
6. Hideous Kinky, by Esther Freud. No other reason other than that I've heard the film was good, and it only cost a dollar.
7. Dracula, by Bram Stoker. Time to pay more attention to pulp classics.
8. Letters To Anais Nin, by Henry Miller. The definite treasure of the day.
A neat Valentine's Day!
Started with a bit of an argument, then me charging out in the rain and wind to buy coffee and strawberries. Alas, I arrived at the shop twenty minutes before opening time, and had to wait in the front entrance with a dozen grim, highly determined elderly housewives armed with mini-carts and ferocious glares. Just try to get in ahead of me, bitch, their glares said. I backed away, and as the bell tolled 10, they viciously shoved their way in, descending like Vikings onto the neat displays of produce to squeeze and snort and roll their eyes in disgust.
I made breakfast: omelets with a mushroom, green onion, and tomato filling. Which turned into more of a scrabble. Sliced strawberries on the side.
A bunch of strife and banking stuff.
Then Matt took me to the Taro Okamoto Museum of Art, which is a wonderful place! The display included sound, a la the ominous beeps and clankings of a Tom Waits song. We got to sit in two of Taro's red chairs:
(see the rest on flickr)
We went to Matt's specially selected restaurant, which was closed. This often happens to us on romantic holidays, like our last anniversary, for example. We milled about for a bit, getting hungry and snippish. Wound up at a very cool Italian place, red wine, seafood pasta, etc. Awesome! Rounded out the evening with an hour of karaoke, which we do at least once a week so it didn't seem destined to be "special," until Matt dictated that we only sing the most horrible love songs we could find. Done! Started off with Savage Garden's Truly Madly Deeply and plummeted downhill from there. Ended with a racy photo shoot in the karaoke booth, bought some more wine, and went home.
Encounter with house-mate in ill-lit, insane asylum-ish corridor near the washrooms:
HIM: [in a whisper, Aussie accent]: D'you like donuts?
ME: No.
HIM: [louder] Seriously? You don't like donuts?
ME: No, sorry, I don't like sweets.
HIM: Wot's going on? I'm trying to give away donuts, and nobody'll take 'em.
I promised 'more later' re: Elder Brother Comes to Town, and here's a brief re-cap:
THURSDAY -- Matt and I blow into Shunjuku in the evening, cab it to the Hilton with a large bottle of inexpensive Suntory whiskey. Meet Elder Brother in his swank hotel room, admire the view, get drunk. Matt's brother R arrives sometime during the middle of this.
We eat delicious noodles at a hole-in-the-wall in some alley. A Japanese man compliments me on my prowess with chopsticks. R says later, "You should tell him how impressed you are with how he can drink water from a glass so nicely."
We go to THE BEATLES MACDONALDS. Regrettably, I don't take pictures.
Karaoke, all-you-can-drink. Downhill state continues.
Back in Noborito. Ill-advised beers at the Antique and Junk. Upon arrival at the House, I can not walk, and Landlady emerges from her Rooms to witness this sad state (which, undoubtedly, prompted the much-documented Are You Alcoholics statement a few days hence).
FRIDAY -- Clint and I breakfast at Jonothan's and go to Ikuta Park and view the open-air folk house museum. Discuss matters of great import and abstraction. Later, I make us smoothies, he makes us eggs. I depart for work at 4:30 for my half-day. En route, a shattering hangover hits.
After work, I meet up with Clint and Matt, we go to the rotating sushi place, then for more karaoke. Back home, 3 a.m.: loud you-tube induced laughter. A second, damning encounter with the Landlady.
SATURDAY -- After work, off to Shinjuku with Matt. Clint treats us to dinner at Checkers, one of the Hilton restaurants. An awesome seafood pasta thing. Clint wanted to buy a bottle of the house red, but it was a spectacular $90, so we opted for $2 cans of chu-hi outside the station, instead. I can't stand things that are overpriced just so they can say they're overpriced and that somehow makes you better for drinking them or something.
SUNDAY -- After work, I head to Shinjuku solo. Clint and I down a chu-hi each in his room and then go for dinner at Denny's, as he is craving eggs and hashbrowns, but alas it is Japan Denny's, with the usual squid pizza and 'deluxe hamburg and rice' entrees. We order a bottle of wine, and just as the waitress approaches with it and two glasses balanced on a tray, she trips and everything shatters. She is far more upset than we are. So was her boss. I hope she didn't get fired. We were whisked to a new table and given fresh glasses of water and new pre-moistened towlettes. There was an earthquake a few minutes later.
Later, a couple more chu-his, deep conversation about mysticism and memory, and I went home.
Too short a visit! I think that's the most time I've spent with Clint since I was a kid, and it was awesome and special.
Sometimes you've just got to say, the moon's the same here as it is anywhere else on the planet. Or, I miss Sambuca, who was my only daughter, and would perch on my lap as though she were an imperialist artist instead of merely a cat. The way dead daffodils look on Fernwood stoops, the idea that a shopkeeper might actually smile back at you: the sainthood to which you've relegated organic brunches. Everybody must have been a spy. Japan has great food, cheap department stores, and a rampant racism. Time has limits.
A totally weird day in Tama Center! (I'm using their spelling, not mine). M and I went there cuz we'd heard rumours of a thousand yen ($10) shop where you can buy practical things like blankets and clocks. I bought a militant handbag, and the two sales girls couldn't stop giggling during our transaction. Generally, this doesn't happen to me. They discussed me in Japanese, and the only words I could make out were "cute, cute." Have a horrible feeling they weren't referring to my appearance, but rather, my mangled and poorly accented Japanese ...
Then later we found ourselves at the ominous pastel entranceway to HELLO KITTY LAND, totally by accident. It's a massive structure, maybe about five times the size of the Empress Hotel back home, and infinitely more ornate. Admission was 40 bucks so we declined, much the shock of various toddlers in pink t-shirts that read HELLO KITTY IS MY FRIEND.
Then I went back to the thousand yen shop to buy a blanket. It was a very big blanket, folded neatly on a shelf. Needless to say, when I pulled it down it unfolded into a horrible mess, and I just kind of crumpled it all together and heaved it on the sales counter. One of the girls was the same, and the other guy was this older executive-type. They regarded me, and my blanket, with skeptical fascination. Chattered Japanese amongst themselves. Then a statement directed at me, only a bit of which I could understand: something about Is it okay if I say thank you. I had no idea what she was getting at and started to laugh. They laughed. Hysterically. Then they produced this massive plastic bag and tried to force the blanket into it. I tried to help but this only made them laugh harder. I stumbled away.
Anyway, here is the best picture of the day, which I call Small Child and Monster With Many Heads:
You can see the rest on my Flickr page.
Scandal at the House! Landlady made wild accusations! Called Matt and I alcoholics! Inferred I was wanton, even when I said the 'strange man who spent the night' was my brother! Said she didn't know what to do! I said I was sorry but the drunken 3 am revelry was a one-time thing and wouldn't happen again! She again asked if we were alcoholics! I said No! She said they'd had problems with alcoholics before, had to evict them! I asked her what she wanted me to say! What a mess!
Went out and bought the following:
with vague plans of stumbling about with it in Landlady's view!
1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
I'm partial to receiving phone calls from drunken friends. I go to bed early, though: often I miss them cuz I'm fast asleep by then.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
A difficult question. There are no shopping carts in Japan; there's no space. Instead, there are very small baskets, and if you're lazy you can get a very small, two-wheeled mini-cart to place it in. I always return this thing, yes. There are designated areas at the ends of tills to do so, with a special basket-holder to place them in. Once there was no holder so I placed it on the ground. I got about five different murderous glances cast in my direction. On an un-related note: today at the train station there was this crazy-woman talking to strangers, and she was wearing a sweater with the words WESTERLY STUD FARM sewn into the back.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
I'm a listener if I don't know the people involved very well. A listener and a judger.
4. Do you take compliments well?
I tend to take them with a sarcastic, yet bashful, ease, if that makes sense ...
5. Do you play Sudoku?
No! I suck at it hardcore which makes me hate it and think it's stupid.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
I would imagine so. I'm very practical. I grew up in the wilderness if you want to know the truth. I would complain like a sonofabitch but I would emerge from it all alive and pissed off.
8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Yeah, Camp Sunnybrae.
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Flipovers: I would hold my dad's hands and climb up his legs with my feet and then do a somersault in mid-air. It ruled!
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you?
No.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
History speaks for itself!
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Gah! I don't like the whole game, but when I was in it I preferred to be pursued. I think competition over men is faintly sick. If there was a guy I was into and some other girl tried to muscle her way in, I would find something else to do and let her go at it.
14. Use three words to describe yourself?
melancholic happy artist
15. Do any songs make you cry?
The theme song from Donnie Darko. Some Radiohead stuff.
16. Are you continuing your education?
In non-academic ways, yes. Every day is a goddamn pop quiz. When I get back to Canada I will pursue either a Master's Degree in Fine Arts or a post-graduate diploma in Publishing. Booyah!
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Oddly, yes. I am something of a crack shot, or was, when I was a teenager. It's been years.
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
Matt.
19. How often do you read books?
Every day. Depending on, you know, stuff and things, I read about four books a week.
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
All three. I have a present problem, think about how I dealt with a similar problem in the past, and devise a plan for the future. Or, you know, just get all like mired in it.
21. What is your favorite children's book?
Pepper and Jam. It's about homicidal cats. I also read C.S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia when I was six, and re-read them about a billion times.
22.What color are your eyes?
Blue.
23. How tall are you?
Five-two.
24. Where is your dream house located?
Salt Spring Island. Right on the beach. A writing room, a studio for Matt, a garden, and lots of dogs.
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Many times! The weirdest was in Japan, where the photo booth kept talking to me in Japanese, and I was so baffled and yes, even alarmed, that the resulting photo on my alien registration card makes me look as though I'm a drug mule.
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Never.
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Shinyurigaoka, which is where I work.
32. Do you like mustard?
If it's not too spicy. Dijon mustard rules!
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Sleep, lately. In one of my not-eating-much phases.
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I look a lot like my mum and always have, but lately when I look in the mirror on too-early mornings, and see the spaces below my eyes, it reminds me of my dad.
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Ten minutes?
36. Can you do the splits?
No. I've never been able to. I can get my legs in the fucking lotus position, but the splits? No.
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
That new Pixies documentary that looks kickass!
39. What did you do for New Year's?
Some wine at home, then a Tower of Beer in Machida, then a club in Shibuya, then a long, long train ride home at 3 am.
40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
Never saw it.
42. Do you own a camera phone?
My camera has a phone. Does this count?
44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
I don't think so. She mentioned smoking a pack of Number Sevens near a pond in grade 9. She met my father, a notorious badass drunkard at the time, when she was in grade 12.
45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
R. It's a horrible middle name. It means, "little white lady," which I find to be not only racist but sexist and whatever it is when you discriminate against large people, as well. My first name, however, rules.
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
About seven? Give or take. I guess that's healthy.
48. Do you like care bears?
I sort of liked them when I was little. But I've always distrusted animated characters -- there's something dead and soulless about them. Excepting, of course, the mighty STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE, whom I admire to this day.
49. What do you buy at the movies?
Sometimes popcorn. Generally, I sneak in gin.
50. Do you know how to play poker?
And how! Texas Hold-em is my specialty. Thanks, Colin!
51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
All the time.
52. What do you wear to sleep?
Usually a black tank top. Sometimes a purple tank top. Very rarely, a blue polka-dot tank top.
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
My hometown, Vernon, has a large Indian population. One family, called Gakhal I think but I'm probably mangling the name (sorry), had a wedding in the mid-90s. The bride had either been previously engaged, or previously married, to this crazy guy, and he showed up at the wedding and wasted a ton of people with a shotgun. About 9 or 10 people, as I recall, including the groom. Then he killed himself. Brutal. It's actually one of Canada's most vicious crimes.
54. How many meals do you eat a day?
Usually 2. Sometimes 3. Sometimes 1. Today it looks like 1.
55. Is your tongue pierced?
No.
56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?
Yes.
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
A little of column A, a little of column B ...
59. Ever been to L.A.?
Yes, when I was 12. There was block after block of fast food restaurants, which appalls me now, but at the time I thought it was so cool ...
60. Did you eat a cookie today?
No. I never eat cookies.
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
Once in a while. I actually don't know any Japanese swear words, which is weird, I'll have to learn some. Sometimes I swear in French or German cuz it's fun.
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
Neither.
63. Do you hate chocolate?
Yes! Thank you for asking. Generally, I don't like sweets, though I do drink sweet drinks, like rye and Coke for example.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
The Nature of my Sinful Relationship with my Partner. My Deplorable Relationship with God. The Fact that I Smoke. The Fact that I Live in Japan, Where There are No Churches. Actually, this is all my mum. My dad and I rarely fight.
65. Are you a gullible person?
No.
66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Maybe? It's a difficult question. I need to be loved, for example, to be happy.
67. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
A theatrical director.
68. Are you easy to get along with?
Yeah, like not at all, apparently.
69. What is your favorite time of day?
In the morning when I have my glass of ice coffee from the Italian place by my Work.
The above was given as a response to a question asked of me at Work, which included words to the effect of "Why, seeing it is five o'clock in the evening, is your visible hangover so bad you can't even hold your head up?"
From the karaoke place:
Three brothers, on the streets of Shinjuku:
More later.
