Notes from the Cambie - in real time!

3:50pm
Not necessarily drunk off my ass, but getting there. Four cocktails on my patio in an hour and a half; now at the bus stop (Pandora and Douglas) while Matt goes for pizza at Maleko's. He will return for the 4:06 #30. I am desperately hungry - only half a banana and a handful of hard-bite potato chips (14 grams of fat, per handful, according to the bag) to eat today, but I can't stomach the thought of dollar pizza. When we get to the Cambie in Nanaimo I will have a vegi burger. ..... Since when does a handful of chips have 14 grams of fat? I will double-check the bag when I get home, but apparently a 'handful' is '10 chips.' And 14 grams of fat is fully one half the recommended daily amount for women in their 20's. Not that I count that sort of thing.

4:35pm
At the jam space. And I'm not sure ... But I think I just saw a 4-wheeled scooter go by. ........ Ryan just got here. I'm sitting on the pavement in the parking lot. I can see these things.

8:15pm - at the Cambie
Ryan just won $100 on a pull-tab! He's gone to buy a pitcher of beer. Excitement mounts.

9:15pm
An argument erupts within the band: do they play 'gritty' folk or 'abrasive' folk? Jay believes it's 'abrasive.' Matt believes 'abrasive' is a 'weak adjective.' Nothing is decided.

9:20pm
Sights and Sounds of the Cambie (Part I): wrinkled middle-aged women in bright dresses grabbing each other by the shoulders and shouting, "Hell NO! Hell NO!"; old Tool songs; overweight, good-natured men in Lucky Lager t-shirts; surly waitresses; old men bumming smokes; my friends telling stories about the 'pee trough' in the men's washroom (this is not a joke).

9:30pm
Actual graffiti on a bunk-bed in the Cambie hostel:
"Joy Waller. 'I am not a musician.' Aug 02."
"Joy Waller sucks. Jan 03."
"Some people have no couth. Joy Waller. May 04."
And some more, not related to me:
"The pope gives Nickelback head."
"Not every man can be a pimp, but every bitch is a slut." (yes, folks, we're in Nanaimo)
"Fuck you!"

10:35pm
I have just been introduced to a girl named Shawni who has the most gorgeous red bag I have ever seen. I will be anxious until I find out where she got it. Also: I am drinking Labbat Blue (nevah!). Also: Antilles just played a cover of "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots" by the Flaming Lips. The Cambie doesn't get much better than this. Aside from the Blue, of course.

10:50pm
Weird. I just looked across the bar and saw Danika. Danika! Of the Monday Night Writing Thang, fiction workshop, and soberingly brilliant short stories. People as pure as her don't belong in an establishment as sordid as this. ("Hey there ... What's a bautiful girl like you ...?")

11:35pm
Sights and Sounds of the Cambie (Part II): Floors in the women's washroom that, composed of uneven bricks, leak moisture of many kinds. Drunken laughter. Kick-ass JD and the Religion. Over-tipping waitstaff. Blue, Blue, Blue, that is warm and dish-washery.

11:45pm
A guy at the next table looks like Hermes. Is that mean of me? No. All of us should look like Hermes. All of us should have gorgeous 6-ft-tall wives who yell, "Hermes! Get to work!" and look decadent while they say it.

12pm (am? I can never tell)
I met at man on the smoking patio whose name is Vernon. Strange. My hometown is Vernon. I mentioned this to his friend Dan, who said, "You guys should get married!" I laughed, and Vernon said, "Yeah, as if I'd meet a girl in a bar who was from Vernon, and say my name's Vernon, and we'd get married." Good times all around. ("He probably calls EVERYBODY Vernon, baby.")

12:20 whatever
Drunken swirling beer-thoughts ... I just told someone that I like labels. Which I do. I label myself as a writer, feminist, and woman, plus other more negative things. And I like these labels.

12:35
I have just stolen a pint glass. I feel like a bad person. But on the other hand, I feel like a cool person. I am so daring!

12:55 - Last Call
"Dream's over, folks ... Get the hell out." (so says the Barkeep, as an old - 1999? - Korn album plays.)

1:10am
Ryan and Jay have gone to Queen's. Queen's! Why? They say, to make contacts. I doubt. I think they intend to party at that despicable club. What will 1:20 bring? Will they be back???

2am
I just beat Jay at a mercy fight. I think my night is complete.

Posted by joy at May 9, 2004 1:42 PM