1. Last night Graeme and I both dreamt of rural areas as points of destination – in both our dreams, he was taking me to one, pine trees so full all they could do was sway in the overcast. The difference happened with waking. Graeme woke with the melody of Cohen’s Suzanne on his lips, and I woke hating that my toothpaste was red.
2. Friday night - Graeme and I are at Brasserie l'école to celebrate our first year together – hurray, the low-lit romance of French wine. It’s somewhere between the lamb shank and the Crème Brulee that we hear an Amazon of a woman in high-waist jeans shriek, “You bet I can’t do this! You bet money – 500 dollars that I can’t do this!” as she comes tearing full-tilt down the long hardwood aisle of white tablecloths. She races past us, reaches the finish line at the end of the aisle and dives knee-first into a Mick Jagger electric slide on the hard floor. My eye are frozen, I’m waiting for her to get up, thinking this woman must be close to forty, has probably popped her kneecaps and is clearly smashed to a point where embarrassing yourself really is the only operable option. As I’m holding my breath, she (I kid not) leaps up, twirls to face what I guess has now turned into her audience, stretches her arms out towards us all, throws her head back and shrieks, “See!! Woo! They bet me MONEY! EVERYONE, THEY BET ME MONEY THAT I COULDN’T DO THE ELECTRIC SLIDE!” and saunters, saunters back to her table like Katherine from Taming of the Shrew being auctioned off for some charitable function.
Thought that was the end of her production. A fifteen minute stint and she goes through the exact same routine, shrieking and all, again. It was, without a doubt, one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen happen - an all-too-vivid look into leftfield trailer park. Let’s file this under Weird Things That “Happen” in Caro’s Life. Needless to say, she, and her entourage, were asked to leave by a couple of very shocked, and perhaps slightly too accommodating waiters. A cab was called.
I go outside to have a cigarette after the meal and she’s out there with her group and she says to me, “Hey, sweetie! Looking good! Nice gams!” as she drops her smoke in a puddle. “Hey I think I have another ciggie!” She says.
Sweetie? Gams? Ciggie?? I somehow managed to get through that and keep my meal down. A miracle, if I ever experienced one.
ARE YOU KIDDING? The was a BLESSING! A BLESSING AND A SIGN!
Posted by: Xavier at January 21, 2007 8:24 PMdude. what? if you read this as a blessing, then i don't think i painted the scene very well at all. but, ok, i'll bite: why do you see it that way?
Posted by: caroline at January 21, 2007 9:12 PMWhat *are* gams? I've always wondered.
Posted by: joy at January 22, 2007 1:30 AMi wondered the same thing, until now. from context i managed to figure out they're legs - i was wearing a dress with no tights. a source later confirmed the meaning. but seriously: i've never actually heard the term gams before friday night. must be generational?
Posted by: caroline at January 22, 2007 2:11 AMI used to think they were specifically one's thighs, but gams are legs, baby.
Caro.
Really.
I -demand- that you go find yourself some film noir movies, especially ones starring Bogie. Because this is where you will encounter "gams" - "The girl was all gams. Gams as far as the eye could see..."
Posted by: ben at January 22, 2007 11:38 PMYeah, but. "Gams," the word: not a big fan, I must say. not too big a fan. the word: kind of cringe worthy.
I'll take my Bogie, without the gams.
!
Posted by: caroline at January 23, 2007 2:12 AMWell, I'm not sure you'd have gams. Broads have gams. I'd never call you a broad. It's -such- a noir word.
Posted by: ben at January 23, 2007 8:27 AMno no no. not HIS gams. without him SAYING 'gams' - he's much sexier that way.
Posted by: caroline at January 24, 2007 3:03 PMI'm imagining her with poofy bleached blonde hair and a rhinestone jean jacket....
Posted by: Steph at January 25, 2007 12:28 AMSteph -
close. same class/type of person. with dark hair, though. ugh.
Posted by: caroline at January 28, 2007 2:27 PMWow ..... amazed that this incident made to cyber space!! Well first of all like to apologize for it occurring at all... Not really appropriate behavior for a dining out and especially not at Brasserie l’ecole. So I hope we didn’t ruin yours and Graeme’s eating experience and if we did please except my apology. My friend was having a little too much fun, as the whole entourage was, and we always appreciate the patience of the Brasserie l’ecole. I must admit in the few dozen times I have eaten there the food has always been amazing and the service has always been perfect.
To answer a couple of your questions and comments; I would like to say, “yes, Gams are legs.” Amazon is not really a fair description. Yes, she is tall but certainly not a big girl by any means except in personality. We were not asked to leave just to settle down and not to disturb the other dinners, which again I apologize about. The electric side, which is a great description, was for charity. Making your description of Katherine quite accurate.
I am very glad that you could hold down your dinner, as it would have been a waste of all that delicious food. Oh, and she is in her twenties not forty’s so lets not be too catty.
Again though a heartfelt apology for disturbing your year anniversary I wish all the best for the next year. Promise if you have it at the Brasserie there will be no electric slides.
Cheers,
The Entourage Leader
what in the world? how did the "entourage leader" find your blog? whhhh...
Posted by: hannah, who you don't know at February 2, 2007 8:36 AMhannah,
he googled "brasserie lecole." as to why, i don't even know. "whhhh" indeed.
Posted by: caroline at February 2, 2007 9:45 AMThanks for the apology, EL. I guess I appreciate it. Though I'm weirded out by this. I am. As for your friend - it was fairly dark and she has, how you say: a very "mature looking, structured face," which made her seem a lot older than she in fact is. The point of this story is: don't ask me to be a witness after I've had all that wine. A midget will turn into a giant and the wrong man will be put away. cheers!
Posted by: caroline at February 2, 2007 9:49 AMI am glad you accept my apology for the inappropriate events of that night. If you thought that incident was bad well compared to the rest of the night it was nothing. I would love to go into more detail but if you thought we were trailer trash before this would leave really no doubt. I actually didn’t find your blog …. Someone told me about it. I really don’t goggle restaurant names for fun …. Not sure why anyone would. Just thought that I should at least attempt to defend our actions even though there isn’t much of a defense. Next time you see out try and jump the fence and join us for a drunk …. Sorry, meant drink ….. in the, I think you called it this, the leftfield trailer park.
Cheers,
EL