Plathological

thread(ed)

The poem’s internal logic, or spine – as I myself put it last week – is so totally what I need to grasp and am actively grasping. So totally.

A long conversation on the bus about progressively internalizing the structure and approach of the epic, then coming to terms with that process through mortality, in concept and displaced recognition – what was said on the bus may ostensibly be wintered down to that, though it took twenty minutes of exchange. Replacing deconstruction with reconstruction - it pleased me, my lack of modern dying.

The phrase remaining: not quite overworked – we don’t use that term here, don’t say it. We don’t like it so much. Though today, I am tired. Not due to work so much as a focus on it, placing a grid. My contacts have arrived at the eye clinic, things like that. Things like picking up your year's supply of eyes. Kind of has me going. Do I really want to pay for this??

Really???

Right now I want nothing more than a nap and I shall have it. I was sleeping wide awake last night – you know the one. The one where you're in bed and can’t tell which state you’ve fallen into or have been shaken out from. The one where, when you wake at daybreak, it becomes impossible to pin-point the hour within which you actually fell asleep. It may have been three in the morning, but who knows if that's right - so much on the mind.

Posted by caroline at October 3, 2006 2:35 PM