October 6, 2005
"Words are very / unnecessary" (DM)
Oh my god. I’m writing like a maniac. And I’m sorry (?), Xavier, but you’ve somehow found your way into my story. I really don’t mean to satirize you. That’s not my intention. Your face (person?) just happened to be at the forefront of my mind when one of my characters started to emerge. I think it's because I've had a lot of emotionally intense moments with you lately--which have been making me think about the essentials (when I said this is hard for me &tc.). I’m not sure if I should be apologising or what here? Since it’s never really “the actual person”--or it can never be, in fiction. hahaha! Oh my god, this is the freakish, unrelenting and totally inappropriate power I constantly live in fear of. But oh my god: I’ve forgotten how good it felt to write something structured like this. I mean, I knew it felt good, but I’d almost entirely forgotten how fucking good it was. Anyway. One thing’s for certain. I’m getting a cocker spaniel, maybe a whippet. I’m naming it Candy Darling. Go fish:
I so want to have Factory-style glam shots done. Andy Warhol Go!
And, re: people as characters. There is -no- escape. Really. It is, I suppose, a good move to alert people to their double existence, because it's almost impossible to get away from. I never did finish that ghost story you were in, as a honky tonk singer named Carolina. I should pick that up again.
Posted by: ben at October 6, 2005 9:28 AMI'm dying here. Post the story!
I HAVE A RIGHT TO CHOOSE!--I mean-- KNOW!!
I'm glad to have been there in those "intense" moments. They were good "intense" moments. And I know what you meant now when you said "this is hard for me". I'm sorry about the way I reacted then. I was just surrounded by people. Profundity retreats to the back of my mind and won't come out until the clammering social threat has receeded.
I want to read this story. Structure eh? Feels good eh? Sounds about right to me. I'm dying>/i> here!
Posted by: Xavier at October 6, 2005 9:38 AMwow, you are dying-- I've never seen you mess up your html before. It's like you suddenly swallowed your water the wrong way. Can't show you the story now--it's hardly done. Still an infant. I mean, you wouldn't just throw a five month old into kindergarten and say, "Here, bitch. Handle THIS." My baby needs some more nursing. Rest assured I won't bottle feed. Also rest assured that by the time I'm done, "you'll" barely be recognizable. But I think you'll get it anyway. Who knows. It's still at the point where it may go in an entirely different direction. There’s a bridge to cross, rail by rail. stepstep thought.thought. or equal to, not greater than.
woosssshhh. The world turns. And this is hardly spinning.
xoxox
Ben:
finish it! The eyeliner beckons.
Simply!
xoxoxox
Did you get the short story all okay? Have you read it yet? It's terribly drafty, but I need some outside commentary before I can go on with it. I know it's horribly flawed. :)
Posted by: ben at October 7, 2005 12:28 PMCandy Darling used ot keep tampons in his purse even though he didn't have a VAGE...and made sure his purse was see through....fucked up. One time the police searched me purse and found my tampons and I was like "oh my god, this is so embarassing"...the end.
at least they didn't find anything else. what the fuck were they searching your purse. seriously. "who the hell is hounding you . ." etc. the end my end.
Posted by: caroline at October 10, 2005 2:26 AMben: yes. i got the story. i will get to it some time next week when the work air clears a bit. what i've read so far is pretty fucking good babe. xoxo
Posted by: caroline at October 10, 2005 2:59 AM