I just ate an entire brick of Gouda. It was wonderful. I was wondering why I couldn’t stop eating it since devouring the whole thing like that is obviously ridiculous and so I eventually resorted to googling the stupid cheese and discovered that it won the World Championship Cheese Contest (I’m not even kidding you that this exists). Not only was it best in its Edam/Gouda class, but oh, it won best of everything. I feel retribution of the lamest sort. I love the internet. I love the Dutch. They’re going to make my ass as big as the woman’s who made my espresso this afternoon. And justifiable so, you guys. That was some amazing crackhouse cheese I just had. Guess how much of this is satirical. Now it's time to look through some Polish fashion mags and see what my people are up to. It’s strange, but as far as I can see, we’ve always been fairly romantic dressers. Even when the deco creeps in.