Oh my God. I've just discovered the word Outercourse while doing research. I'm not sure what part of my rope I've reached. I read the included link in a rather delirious state. The same state I fall into when reading about what mid-west America loves and holds dear. I mean, in general--more or less. " Outercourse is useful when: . . . .
# when people choose to abstain from sex or are not ready for intercourse yet
# if one partner doesn't feel like having intercourse
# as another sexual option for partners who have already had intercourse
# if a partner doesn't want to be penetrated (or do something that's penetrating)
# if a partner is sore or has an infection
# if people don't have condoms or any other birth control
# if a partner is constipated
# if a woman partner has her period
# just for a change"
WHEN A PARTNER IS CONSTIPATED.
"Honey, I'm rather constipated tonight, let's stick to outercourse."
"That's OK. I don't FEEL like doing something that's penetrating, anyway."
Wow. I've been enjoying outercourse for all these years and never knew it had a boring name that drains all the fun out of it.
Seriously.
Is it really shocking for people to discover that they can have fun, non-penetrative sex? My gods!
Posted by: ben at May 26, 2005 11:19 PMyeah well : today i fantasized about having intercourse w/ an ex on the bus & proceeded a few hours later to have outercourse w/ him on the grass but it was hardly that if even. i just kept talking about women. but i was certainly constipated & sore. then i wrote a journal entry alllll about it. then i went on MSN AND FLIRTED WITH A REALLY CUTE BOY FROM THE NETHERLANDS. i offered to marry him for citizenship, & he'd better accept since i'm his victorian dreamcake. i'm not even drunk. it's too bloody hot for a blazer but i'd wear one for purposes of a) pomposity, b) sheltering, c) intimidation, & d) fuckyou-sitis-i-love-tweed, if the heat of it wdn't make me pass out in front of mcdonald's (mcdonalds'?) again. i'm getting old lynx, i'm getting laconic. & crass. peace out.
Posted by: m at May 27, 2005 12:45 AMYou just made me laugh out loud at work. So good. I can just imagine your face while delivering that (exellently capitalized and italicized) gag too. gold. pure gold.
Posted by: Xavier at May 27, 2005 10:30 AMm--
I keep reading that comment over and over again it totally keeps making my day and also, *incidentally* keeps validating and reinforcing who I am as a human being person girl-child.
I even quoted the part about tweed the other day because it was just too fucking awesome to be held in the chains of this blog box. :D
I think you need to write an article on exactly that topic--the merits of tweed. you simply must expand on those numbered points you made. I crave to see more of this. I need it to survive as the person I am.
xoxoxooxxx
X--
my actual purpose in LIFE is to make you laugh at you place of work. You know, stretch you sides like the dollar (to the dollar???)
:D
thanks for the strawberries and coffee the other day--love, love LOVE our chats & see you very soon,
xoxox
Posted by: caroline at May 30, 2005 7:42 PMben--
people have fragile, oh so fragile minds . .and so we must be ohso very gentle with them, you know, *provide them with a DEFINITION for their actions,* so they can go on with their lives.
I am ***loving** all my typos in these my recen replies. the rock me to the core. rad.
I need to smoke.
all will be well then.
yes.
Posted by: caroline at May 30, 2005 7:48 PM