I feel sad.
I'm beginning to look for another job. The thing is that I kids I work with but its just not making enough money. I average about 60 hours every two weeks and my check is $345. If I had no help from my parents I could not live, I just couldn't. I feel like my job now is not worth it. I'm looking into being a waiter since that is something I have always wanted to try and after a few months I will be making a hell lot more then $345 every two weeks!
I meet this guy last night who is from Germany. He is a flight attendant and had a layover in Denver. We got together for dinner and I showed him around the city and ended up having an awesome time. It just makes me sad because he is such a neat person, yet he is from Germany. We exchanged emails and such and will be in contact...but who knows. What makes me sad is that is had so much that I look for in someone, yet there is no way that we can have any sort of relationship. We both had a nice evening and were both sad about the reality of it.
I don't have any plans for tonight which makes me sad. I don't know how to go about meeting new people here. I didn't think it was going to be this difficult.
This coming week is going to be crazy. I'm looking forward to it because I won't have to think about my life for a bit. My sisters wedding is on Saturday and the rehersal is Friday. Sunday morning I'm going to be taking people to the airport so I will have little time to think. That may sound bad as if I'm in denial or rationalizing...maybe I am...but I want to right now.
Hope all is well.
xoxo
I'm worth $1,611,208.50! How much are you worth?
I'm feeling pretty good right about now. I'm in a state where I just feel good about things in my life. I just came back from coffee with a friend and we talked for hours. It was a really nice evening.
I went and spoke with a advisor from the psychology department yesterday and found out what I need to get done in order to graduate. All of my credits transfered from UVic so I have about 43...I have more then enough electives. Next semester I can start working on my degree. I need to have a year of statistics...i'm kind of scared. Though I'm excited about my other classes like Psychology of Gender, Child Psychology, Learning, and Psychology of Counsleling.
I'm watching figure skating right now. I love Michelle Kwan, so much!
I've been scared and battered.
My hopes the wind done scattered.
Snow has friz me, sun has baked me.
Looks like between 'em
They done tried to make me
Stop laughin', stop lovin', stop livin'--
But I don't care!
I'm still here!
Still Here
by Langston Hughes
This weekend was strange. We went to my grandmother’s funeral and it was an experience. We flew into Oklahoma City since each ticket was $500 cheaper then it was to fly into Wichita. While we were in Oklahoma City we went and saw the memorial site for the Oklahoma City bombing that happened in 1995. It was a beautiful memorial!
The next day we drove into Wichita. For those of you who have never been to this wondrous place...have no worries! This was the first time that I have seen a dead body. They had a viewing of her the day before the funeral and it was a strange. She didn't look real. She looked plastic, as if she was never alive.
The funeral was at my dad's brother’s church. It is an Assembly of God church which is Evangelical Fundamentalist. Yikes! My sister read strictures, I sang and my dad spoke. My uncle had a mini sermon...This type of church environment I have never been around and feel so lucky!
The funeral was emotional. My dad said what he needed to say and it was profound. I'm glad that my grandmother has died and is able to finally live in a peaceful state of mind.
It is good to be back home. I had the gay chorus last night and it went okay. I have made up my mind that my next therapy session will be my last. I don't feel like I need it right now and I'm not liking the relationship that I have with him. Yuck.
On another note, I'm going to start figure skating again! I have called my old coach to see if he can give me a lesson once a week. I'm not going to be as involved in it as I was, but I have missed it. I think that skating will be my new therapy.