what a peanut life

the end of my first real housesitting experience is upon me. it's been 1 month in wHich I lived a mere 10 minute walk from work a 5 minute bike ride frOM My CuRREnt beAu. Of course we didn't hang ouT AT His pLace ALL ThAT fREQuenTly, not sure wHy aCTUally, it jusT kinda turned out that WaY. however much I've disliked having the obligation of a dog to walk and feed, I've grown to appreciate the warning he gives me when people show up and the warmth and companionship when I'm alone on most evenings. poor guy seems to know that I'm leaving. all this moving around, and packing. life will soon be changing for the BoTh Of Us.

on that note, I'm also feeling pretty done with My BEdPartNeR. it's been three months and I've never felt the excitement of a new relationship, which I chalk all down to the practicality our relationship seems to have. bREAKFAST Together? what? sleeping over? hanging out together on the weekend? what plant AM I from?????? good question. obviously the one where I expect to be appreciated a cared fOR, more thaN A frienD with benefits perhaPS. wow.

movinG out To MOm"S IN THE VALLEY TomorroW. that will be interesting, living so far from work. I've been entertaining the idea of biking half WAY IN to town. thAT WAY I'll get SOME aCTIVIty AND NOT fEeL So BAD ABoUT ALL thAT CArBON I'D Be OTHERWISE RELEASING BACK INTO THE ATMOSPHERE.

I HATE MY keYbOARd TOO.

the end of my first real housesitting experience is upon me. it's been 1 month i

right now I'd like to say that I'm somewhat content with my life. granted as soon as I admit that something is bound to come up and rattle me again...maybe that will happen tonight...who knows, I guess we'll see.

however, I AM enjoying the good ol music of the counting crows. there's something to be said for old favourites. I actually think I gave this CD to Simon Nix once I got tired of it. funny that. good thing I house sit and therefore have access to other people's random music. hmmmm

work's recently become a full time thing for me, just in time for the onset of winter and dire desire to move out of the familial hold. however much I want this, I can't help but feel a twinge of "can I really afford it?" all in time I guess. I know I'll do something drastic to get this retarded debt paid down in time...asia, middle east, nursing school. who knows. I'm youngish and still have the desire to change my career another 5+ times.

I wish I could find the cord to my camera so that I could upload my photos, but no can do apparently. dar!

it's been a busy summer, what with swimming, working, playing, and relaxing with family, visitors or samara. I've been surprisingly vacant from the blogosphere as my life took some time to relax down into some order and facebook seemed to steal all my life away from me right as I was trying to exist in it.

working with seniors has shown itself to be a startling strength of mine, as well as a somewhat heavy burden for me as I create personal loving relationships with many of the 90+ residents that live in complex care alone, never mind those that live in our apartments.

those are my weeks and then my weekends seem like there's almost no breathing room. visitors, going out to mom's and errands, all encompass my life like any other adult. it's frustrating knowing that I've grown up and now have a job with benefits

not that I'm complaining, no way.

failed job interview, dwindling prospects, and almost nobody to hang out with, one starts to get the sense of why am I even here?

I need a purpose, I need financial security and I need people to care about who don't sleep the whole day away.

will life ever be fun and enjoyable for me? it seems like there's always some kind of retarded fight for me and I'm tired

my keyboard is acting up again so I'm outta here

tomorrow's my second interview with Spearhead Timberworks. I'm excited and scared all at once. I think I have my outfit already picked out, but we'll see come tomorrow I guess...and my hair needs a cut...damn floofy hair

mmmmm, my bike's back up and running...got it tuned up and now I feel relatively safe on it, although I'm still kinda scared by the clipless pedals as they've caused some serious knee gashes when I don't unclip quick enough

took the bike for a spin yesterday and fell in love. bike riding is my friend. that is, until it rains and the road becomes one big creek, complete with potholes and gravel washout, nevermind the speeding cars that I don't know if they see me...got home after having all the sweaty salt run INTO my eyes, making them burn. thank god! and I was wetter than wet

mmmmm wetness

right now I'm lovin' matt good's b-side dusk. if this is any indication of what his new album is going to be like I may just fall totally in love with him all over again...

ever googled someone you were thinking about a lot? I do all the time, and oh the stuff you can find out...well sometimes. sometimes there's surprisingly little on another internet user...hmmmm

yeah, so I'm in my hot hot room at mom's, the coolish air is breathing on me and I've finally got the dial up internet work (yay me). for some reason it wasn't working earlier, and then I changed the password and mayhem broke loose. but now I'm lovin' the kootenays, looking forward to going swimming (almost did today) and the work ball is starting to roll

*sigh* david's currently here and it's wonderful to catch up kootenay style with him. we had some great times when I was in Vancouver with him and now just relaxing in the wilderness is just as nice...I actually feel almost like I never left, except that I still have twinges of culture readjustment...and i'm hoping that doesn't spill over into my work...yeesh

I like highway noise, I find it more comforting than city street noise 'cause it's also accompanied by crickets. well right now it is anyways

exactly a year ago today I was just finishing (or rather already deep in sleep) a hard first day of a 4,000 mile bike ride across the US. It's unbelievable to think back on the total frustration and tiredness that we were feeling...and the dauntingness of the upcoming 3960 miles. wowza

and crazy me is only looking forward to the next time I can do something similar, or just plain get on my bike tomorrow. I even brought it into Nelson with me so that I can get some nice riding in along the north shore...

and maybe run into that ex-make-out partner again....hmmmm

I'm out of germany out of work and worst of all JET LAGGED. I like to tell myself that all's good and okay, but then when I'm hit with a wave of exhaustion during one of the many visits that I feel I must make before I head back to dirt road valley land or I can't even form the words in my mouth to order a grande iced caramel macciato (yum) I'm struck with just how debilitating and sneaky jet lag is....

I think culture shock is also playing a big role in my dissastisfaction with Vancouver as a city...naja.

tomorrow is off to victoria, friday back to van and then saturday is a road trip with a moving van back to the koots. to my home. to the sun. to the mountains. and to fresh homegrown veggies

mmmmm