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April 2004 Archives

April 1, 2004

April 1, 2004

I am really starting to hate April Fools Day on the internet. Sure, sometimes it is kinda, sorta funny. That only really happens though when the jokes are really interesting and well thought out. Personally, I think one funny joke on a website is ten times better than ten jokes on the same website.

Take http://slashdot.org/ for example.


  • Homeless to be Implanted with RFID tags
  • IF Quake Takes Fragging To Whole New Level
  • 500 EURO reward for finding car by finding laptop
  • Death by Coffee?
  • British Chicken-Warmed Nuke
  • Homemade Subliminal CDs
  • Omniscience Protocol
  • Developing Open Source Defense Projects
  • Introducing RMS-Lint
  • People with real l337 speak names?
  • UK Government to Tax Linux?
  • George Lucas DVD Audio Commentary Leaked
  • OpenBSD Ported to Gameboy
  • PC Case For Hamsters, EZ Bake Oven in a Drive Bay - There's some other (actually) funny stuff at thinkgeek
  • Apple's Rumored PowerPod

Add to it all the other April 1 jokes, and it just becomes a big, ugly, boring, dull mess. And I don't like it.

Or maybe I'm just feeling especially grumpy, given the lack of Vitamin V. Ah well, mamma told me there'd be days like this.

April 14, 2004

Notes from the last two weeks.

Did you think I'd forgotten about you? You naughty reader, of course not. I've just been very busy lately, trying to get my head together. Here's the last two weeks, compressed, diced, and put on a platter for all to see.

I bought a new bed. It's a queen size. I'm already tired of the jokes. Thanks Jo for not mentioning them. Sleeping has been much improved. Back feels better, I wake feeling more rested than the nasty futon.

Gave the futon to Ben. Got to use all my shiney new bondage skills to tie it to the car and drive around town with a floopy mattress hanging out the back.

Dropped one three classes. Guess I should have told a few people that a little while ago. Ah well. I did. And I'm quite happy about it actually. Gives me more time to work on my tan. And my not drinking.

I've been dry for 17 days. That's a very good sign. I still want to drink though. Desire. Blech. I've put a great deal of thought in to this whilst cleaning everything I can get my hands on. Cleaning is a lovely thing to do when not studying for the one remaining class. I've decided not to drink until the desire for drinking goes away.

Sounds odd, eh? So does twelve hours of drinking.

I've been elected for a second term as a piece of furniture. There's only one person who would dare to give me the raspberry, BINKY! She did two terms as furniture and go-between. Go girl, go.

The plans for the Prom are going very well. We don't have much time left, and the DJ is starting to reveal her true, inner dolt. Some people just don't understand that when you are asked to (and agree to) play for five hours, you're expected to play for five hours. It would have been nice if she had mentioned something along those lines. Ah well. The posters are lovely, should be done in a few days, and then sent off to the schools.

I wonder if the office has enough money to pay for all this. Turns out we don't, because

  • The students' society never gave us the money they're required to give us.
  • The finance monkey has been monkeying, but not financing.

Mother has another infection. I looked in the pill cabinet to find twelve kinds of antibiotics. She now takes six gravol at lunch, more for breakfast and dinner.

The dead guys estate might just finally be finished up this month, if I can

  • contact the lawyer (its been a month, no word from him yet)
  • pay the bills (this will have its own entry!)
  • do his taxes
  • tell his sisters to go f*** themselves.

Thinking about things to do with the measley inheritance: iPod or digital camera or wireless networking. Or pay the student loan people.

Cooked Easter dinner. What a pain in the ass that was. Granny bought a ham that was twice as big as needed, after asking me to pick one up. I remember it very clearly. We were on the highway looking for flowers (really! we were!) and talking about Easter. I told her I'd make a caserole and a dessert. She said that'd be great. Could I pick up a small ham and some other stuff. I did. So did she. Except that she got a bigass(tm) ham with a biggerass bone in the middle. I spend an hour trying to saw through the damnable thing just so it would fit in the pot.

But the cake is lovely.

April 15, 2004

Futurama Update!

Slashdot: News for nerds, stuff that matters

Futurama: Can it be True!?

Posted by CmdrTaco on Thursday April 15, @04:21AM
from the bite-my-shiny-metal-ass dept.
foolinator writes "Wired News has reported that Futurama could be making a comeback! From the article: "Last year, Futurama and Family Guy reruns did so well that it's likely both shows (which Fox killed in prime time) will produce new episodes." " Now if only I could get more Firefly, TV might be worth watching again.

Cool.

Girl Kissers

Lesbian kiss shocks North Van residents

Lesbian kiss shocks North Van residents

WebPosted Apr 15 2004 09:34 AM PDT

VANCOUVER - A high school play featuring a same-sex kiss between two lesbian characters has caused a stir in North Vancouver

April 17, 2004

Don't Cry for me Argentina

For I have no internet connection. I can't have one until Tuesday at the earliest.

"Hello sir, this is another automated recording to inform you that there will be a real person at your house on Tuesday between 8:00 am and 9:00 pm to fix the problem with your internet connection."

Fuckers.

I can't really wait that long. Got to do stuff, gotta check email and write blog entries. Gotta do all sorts of crazy stuff, like write movabletype plugins.

Or I could sit on my ass and wait.

April 20, 2004

My Naked Ass

This is not my ass.

This one doesn't even look like me.

Some day, I'll satiate the crowds and post a naked picture. Until then, you're just going to have to be happy with other peoples asses, and possibly Google Images Search.

PS. I'm back. Got the internet working again.

update: not my ass!

April 21, 2004

The Proof, they say, Is In The Taxes

I am tired of complaining about how stupid, pathetic, smelly, and downright dirty my father was. This shall be the last time I do it on my blog.

I hope...

The fucker made twice as much last year as my mother did. He paid less rent, and his utility bills were smaller. And what did he have to show for it? When he died, he didn't have enough money to pay all his bills. Even with the Pension Death Benefit1 he won't be able to pay his taxes.

His two thousand dollar tax bill.

That's right, two thousand dollars. He got deductions for dieing, for being unable to work, for being stupid, but he still has to pay two thousand dollars.

And I'm not going to get an inheritance. God damn, this is pissing me off. I think I'm going to get a pet fish to help me feel better.


  1. Anyone on a pension gets $2500 after they die for funeral expenses and the like. Crazy, eh? He gets paid to die.

April 30, 2004

A Song, A thought, A puppy

Candice Bergen is freakin hot.

And there are still no pictures of my ass.

About April 2004

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