inbetween

Dear Grim Reaper:

C'mon dude. You've been on a break long enough, haven't you?

I'm not asking you to do anything terrible or anything, it's just time for you to do your job. Sure, you're probably busy elsewhere, and have lots of other souls to seperate from their eartly bodies, but I really think you're neglecting your responsibilities here.

It is time for you to visit my father (no biological relation, it's not quite the right word) and do your thing. We're all getting tired of waiting, him included. All he does is stair at the ceiling, sucking resources away from the rest of us.

I'll make you cookies, if you'd like. Sure, people make cookies for Santa, the joly fat bastard, but you deserve some too. Reaping souls all day must be pretty tiring work, and I don't imagine you are terribly appreciated. You seem to do good work (when you get around to it, no hurry or anything) and I've never heard any complaints.

Dude, it's time to put on the dark grey robes, grab the scythe, and put the stupid old man out of his misery.

Your friend,

Michael

I was riding on the car deck of a large ferry, going to Seattle, not a Super Ferry, one of the old queens of much needed repair.

We were traveling through a very narrow passage. Captain Crunch was piloting the ship, and kept scraping up against things. I made my way to the top deck, I think it was maybe six or seven stories above the ocean.

I watched the trees and coastline glide by, and could hear the grinding of rocks on the ships hull. As I sat down to watch, I drank coffee from my favourite blue coffee mug. Then I was inside, and needed to go find someone, so I hid the coffee mug under the chair, and took note that I was on the left side of the ship.

As I wandered around the Titanic, I got into arguments with other passengers, and finally found the Captain.

He was a dentist.

I woke in a cold sweat, screaming.

PhysicsWeb - The best physics humour ever

Ok, so maybe one regular reader will get the in-joke, but several not so regular readers might also get it.

I hate being sick. I hate sniffing, and sniffling and blowing my nose. I hate feeling swollen, and not being able to sleep. I hate having a sore throat, and the nonstop sinus pressure. I hate sleeping all day, and I hate not leaving my house.

And I hate the Student Loan people.

I should be studying. I don't want to. I should be reviewing. I don't want to. I should be programming. I don't want to.

I hate not wanting to. And I hate the Student Loan demons.

AmericanDaily.com - The Five Most Unthankful Nations To The United States - Ryan Thompson

As Canada’s liberal government continues to widen the gap that has formed between our nations over the last ten years with policies such as gay marriage, unlimited immigration, decriminalized marijuana, and Operation Iraqi Freedom, many of us on both sides of the border wonder what went wrong, and how we can fix the problem. The problems with American-Canadian relations will not be solved until Canada realizes how grateful it should be in regards to the United States.

Laughed my ass off at this. I had to share it. What a shining example of the arrogance and stupidity that are so prevalent in American conservative politics. An astounding example of cheap, poorly written propaganda. Unfortunately, this drivel will be eaten alive by the uneducated masses, too complacent in their own self-described "superiority" to examine the so-called facts presented in this opinion missive.

Did I use enough big words?

update: I forgot to mention that this laughable piece of trash was written by a seven-teen year old, who just happens to be an editor-in-chief of the Young Conservatives.

I blew my nose this afternoon.

I think I broke something.

I heard a pop!

And then the room started spinning out of control.

I was afraid to try to stand up to go to bed.

It didn't hurt.

Everything was drifting to the right.

I held on for dear life.

Pop! Everything was back to normal.

My knuckles were white from holding on to the arms of the chair.

Do you remember the Create Your Own Adventure novels from your youth? Like back in the 80's?

Well, for the Hypermedia class that I am in, our project was to create a hypermedia, hyperlinked, hyperactive, hyperhyped-up thingy-do.

And it works.

The idea started out, conceptually at least, as a write your own adventure style application. It has grown into something much more powerful than that.

You can read a paragraph or two, "The paladin chased the necromancer across the plain..." and then choose which story path you want to follow. "The necromancer hid behind a rock" or "The paladin smote his enemy with a chopstick" or contribute your own continuation to the story.

Very interesting, and it's yours for free!

http://alph.dyndns.org

It has turned out to be an interactive, colaborative prose/fiction thing. Very interesting.

Real Emails: 1
Spam Emails: 47.

Really. I got 47 spams between 12:30am and 1:21pm. Spammers are ruining the internet and the email system. Why?

Because they can. Because people respond to spam. Because the email system is so brain-dead, poorly designed. Because they make money.

Spiderman 2! Ooh!

Spiderman 2 preview

But you need a decent internet connection to see it.

Note to self: add this to the list of movies to see.

Neverland (2003)

Today the world bids farewell to Earl Campbell Joyce, (? - 10:45pm, December 18, 2003), who passed from the mortal realm to the next life.

And at long last, it is over. His sister (the one that accused me of projecting porn through her windows way back in August) called me this morning to let me know. Far too early, as it turns out, for me to answer the phone. Why do people call at 9:30 in the am? I don't think that is particularly fair, but oh well.

As it turns out, I am the executor to his will. I find that terribly ironic (is it? or am I just misusing that word again?), considering that I have seen him twice in ten years. Ah well. Apparently, it also means that I have to help out with the funeral plans.

This could be the greatest chance of my life to put the fun (and funny!) back in funeral. Any suggestions?

The ninny couldn't even die right. Nope. Not right at all.

He told his sisters that there were copies of his will in various places. Nope. None. He told his sisters that my god father had a copy. That's rather silly, says my god father.

How many credit cards does he have? I think three. Bank accounts? Two or three. Not sure. What about income? Nobody knows where he got his money.

Argh. It is a very odd situation. I am the executor for his estate. I don't really know why he wanted me to do it. I would guess that the lawyer he spoke to suggested it, and the Nit went along with it.

And what of his "other daughter?" Did I ever meet her? Everyone seems to think so. I just might have, way back when.

More changes to the site.

I've decided to take a break from dealing with the deathy madness. I'm tired of dealing with it. The banks have been very helpful and cooperative. I wish I could say the same about the deadmans family. I talked to three banks today. That's more than enough.

So today, I've been working on the site. In fact, if I have done things correctlly, and excerpt from this entry should show up on the the main negativespace.net page. It should be the first thing that people see when they visit the site.

Will it work? Have the forces of evil thwarted me once again?

I think this should work. It seems to have worked. There is an excerpt on the other page. Why does it show an error on this page?

Grr...

I am sure it will work this time. It must. If it doesn't, then I'm just going to sit down and write my own friggin' bloggin' software.

Here that MT!?!?! I'll do it.

I had thought that this should really be called "Turkeys and Death," but since the turkey is already dead, why beat it?

The turkey is in the oven. The van's brake lights are finally off, after a lovely fun jump-start that involved sparks and a lot of honking. Granny and I are into the second drink. I hope we have enough khalua left for after dinner apperatives.

Should have gotten more booze. Christmas with the family is really all about booze anyway.

I stuffed the turkey this year. I feel a little unclean, having shoved my hand inside a rather large bird. Who ever thought of killing an animal, stuffing it with bread, onions and butter, cooking it for four hours and then eating it?

And the entire concept of gravy seems more and more confusing. "Look! Fat is dripping from the carcas on the fire. Let us collect the drippings, add flour, salt and pepper. We shall mix in wine and water to make a lovely sauce."

Who was the first person to think up gravy? I would like to meet that person.

1 cup milk
4 tbsps. flour
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup margarine
1 cup sugar

Mix milk, flour and vanilla in a small pot. Cook over medium heat until thick, stirring constantly. Let the mixture cool to room temperature.

Cream the margarine and sugar together. Beat in the milk/flour/vanilla mixture to form soft peaks.

Spread on your favourite cake or loved one, and enjoy.

This is not a very sweet icing. It is very creamy and light.
Don't use margarine, it sucks. Use butter. Butter makes it Better!