inbetween

After a very long, but productive meeting with the lawyer, I finally feel like I'm getting control on the death beauracracy. No, I'm not going to try to spell that again; I just don't want to.

We talked about probate, ownership, tennancy, beneficiaries, and death benefits (there are benefits to death!). It was, exhausting.

Before going to Kevins rather lovely office, I found the courage to deal with The Federal Government. It felt a little like a game show, probably the Gong Show, really. Anyone recieving a Pension from the feds may be entitiled to a post-mortem death benefit (I suppose a pre-mortem benefit would be silly. We know you're going to die, so we'll give you this ahead of time!). To apply for the death benefit on behalf of his estate, I must:

1. send a certified copy of his death certificate
2. send a certified copy of his will
3. send a certified copy of his birth certificate. I guess they don't trust me when I tell them that he was born. If he hadn't been born, then they wouldn't be paying him, would they? I don't even know when he was born. Not even the year.
4. send a certified copy of the power of attourney
5. send a certified copy of the mariage license. Again, I don't know when they were married. Neither does my mother.
6. send a certified copy of the ten page certified from that I downloaded from the certified website on the certified internet to certify that he is, in fact, certifiably dead.

All this has to be sent in a certified envelope with sufficient certified postage, to a certified address via certified carrier pigeon so a certified Canada Pension Plan Death Benefit Administrator can certify that (1) he was born, (2) he was married to his wife, (3) he died. Then they toss a certified coin or something and decide if his estate should be given the benefit of his death.

odd.

very odd.

certifiably odd

This entry has not been certified by any notaries, lawyers, pharmacists, or dental hygenists. The pizza delivery guy did proof read it, but wouldn't certifiy that the information was correct. He was certifiably useless, I don't think he even knew his name.