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Turkeys aren't Horses

I had thought that this should really be called "Turkeys and Death," but since the turkey is already dead, why beat it?

The turkey is in the oven. The van's brake lights are finally off, after a lovely fun jump-start that involved sparks and a lot of honking. Granny and I are into the second drink. I hope we have enough khalua left for after dinner apperatives.

Should have gotten more booze. Christmas with the family is really all about booze anyway.

I stuffed the turkey this year. I feel a little unclean, having shoved my hand inside a rather large bird. Who ever thought of killing an animal, stuffing it with bread, onions and butter, cooking it for four hours and then eating it?

And the entire concept of gravy seems more and more confusing. "Look! Fat is dripping from the carcas on the fire. Let us collect the drippings, add flour, salt and pepper. We shall mix in wine and water to make a lovely sauce."

Who was the first person to think up gravy? I would like to meet that person.

Comments (4)

Joy:

These are questions that consume me constantly. A quote, from Dumb and Dumber: "Who ARE these sick people?" "I just ... thought he was really quiet..."

ben:

If you think about it, it is a sick practice to shove things up poultry butt.

I avoided all the meaty things at dinner tonight and ate everything but the bird. Technically, since it was inside the bird, I should have skipped the stuffing, but that's -still- my favourite part, despite being a vegetarian and it being all cooked in meat and stuff. Back in the day, my mother always included stuffing cooked outside the bird - which probably needs its own word. Hmm. "Nuffing?"

No. Wait. "Bluffing."

Joy:

I think 'nuffing' is clever. Very British. "What did you get for Christmas?" "Nuffing!"

I think the evolution of gravy was a little more gradual than that.

And I would imagine that the first bird that we ate (evolutionary speaking) was one we snuck up on and bashed it over the head with a stick. We then ate it.

The application of fire probably didn't happen until later.

Gravy was just a little beyond the imagination of our proto-ancestry.

But it did make us smarter.

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