Dear Grim Reaper:
C'mon dude. You've been on a break long enough, haven't you?
I'm not asking you to do anything terrible or anything, it's just time for you to do your job. Sure, you're probably busy elsewhere, and have lots of other souls to seperate from their eartly bodies, but I really think you're neglecting your responsibilities here.
It is time for you to visit my father (no biological relation, it's not quite the right word) and do your thing. We're all getting tired of waiting, him included. All he does is stair at the ceiling, sucking resources away from the rest of us.
I'll make you cookies, if you'd like. Sure, people make cookies for Santa, the joly fat bastard, but you deserve some too. Reaping souls all day must be pretty tiring work, and I don't imagine you are terribly appreciated. You seem to do good work (when you get around to it, no hurry or anything) and I've never heard any complaints.
Dude, it's time to put on the dark grey robes, grab the scythe, and put the stupid old man out of his misery.
Your friend,
Michael
Comments (5)
[Morbid on!] What kind of cookies would the Reaper want? Rainbow Chips Ahoy?
Posted by ben | December 4, 2003 6:54 PM
Posted on December 4, 2003 18:54
How about Devil's Food Cake?
Sure, it's not cookie's, but it seems quite appropriate. (Besides, you can buy it in a box so it's really easy to make. You don't want to put too much effort into sweets for death - he might want to hang around if you do.)
Posted by Natasha | December 5, 2003 12:02 PM
Posted on December 5, 2003 12:02
The Dude and me are old friends, or so I thought. I don't mind him hanging around, especially if he's telling those jokes of his.
Sure, the scythe is a little pointy and scares people, but he is a genuinely nice guy.
And man, those jokes.
I think perhaps a cherry pie. Something bright and cheerful. I don't think he gets much cheery stuff in his life. Hmm... I don't think he gets much cheery stuff in his death.
Posted by Michael | December 5, 2003 12:44 PM
Posted on December 5, 2003 12:44
Actually, he can be a bit rude, I mean leaving his scythe everywhere? And you ask him to take off the cloak and hang it up when he comes in, but is wearing anything underneath? No! He's like an anthropomorphic streaker.
Posted by ben | December 6, 2003 10:05 AM
Posted on December 6, 2003 10:05
These were details I just didn't know. You learn something new everyday! :)
Posted by Natasha | December 7, 2003 1:38 PM
Posted on December 7, 2003 13:38