Feeling sick again, and the world has its usual bleak overcovering.
I DON'T want to go around and interview people today. I have to if I want to graduate. Maybe I'll drop out and work in the tourism industry. "Yes sir. No sir. No ma'am. Yes ma'am." Doesn't sound too hard.
In ten years --> I could've been something. Why did I ever drop out of college?
shortly after --> The accidental plan. The accidental dictator.
Maybe I should be a projectionist. I've always wanted to do that. I am a bit of a nighthawk.
There's a heaviness. A lashing. Cuts and bruises that seperate. Pull apart. Pull out to avoid getting prego. Though babies have nothing to do with it.
My throat aches. Yesterday I went through serious caffeine withdrawls. I was very cold and very tired. Then I got a fever. The previous day I had like nine cups of coffee with breakfast. Mondays. . . "Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays."
I rehearse on Sunday nights, school from 9 am to 7:30 pm on Monday. Coupled with caffeine withdrawls and a lack of nutrition.
Tuesday is a day off. Though what that really means is that I can work on my homework. There is no such thing as yourself. The things you do become you. The body and mind adapt to their exteriors. Purity is what you find, not what you are. University has about five fingers sunk into my brain. Each finger a vial filled with University.
Posted by matty-b at February 8, 2005 10:27 AMBut surely the blood trucks give you comfort? Finish the poem about the blood trucks! I liked the beginning.
Posted by: Joy at February 8, 2005 11:25 AMthere's something . .hmm, I'm not sure: this sounds a bit like burnout? What I'm guessing since I went through that about a year ago . . .still not sure what I "did" to pull myself out, save for flatlining for so many countless months. *forceful flatlining* and a fuckload of isolation. ://
or just "starting again" like where I was before. go back a few authors????
god!
god!
school!