With Gusto

An Illegally copied poem for Ben

THIRTY-FOUR LINES ABOUT HORSES

If you slice open the brain of a dead horse you'll often find
tiny hooves imbedded in the centre of each lobe.
From the tops of hills horses can see the sea.
When a horse first senses the approach of spring
he will place his lips three inches from the left ear
of another horse and stand like that all afternoon.
Horses stare at the road and never move their heads
even when trucks full of horses roar by.
It's bad luck to argue about horses.
There is a herd of wild horses on the moon.
When a horse is shot horses all over the world tremble.
A horse in Blind River, Ontario, has a small bank account.
There are no horses in British Columbia.
A lie about a horse is not a real lie.
Horses love cigar smoke.
A horse knows when you have bet on him.
In 1949, a pilot, having had an argument with his fiancée
pushed her horse out of a plane flying over Toronto at
3000 feet.
LSD had no effect on horses.
Horses love the smell of telephones.
Horses love to carry beautiful naked women on their bare backs.
Horses love to have their eyes kissed by nuns.
Horses dream they are horses.
The average horse wants to be famous some day.
Horses love people with bad breath.
Horses are proud of their beautiful bodies.
A horse will develop high blood pressure if you cut off its tail.
Horses like to fantasize about making love to whales.
Horses love to eavesdrop on human conversation.
Horses barely tolerate the chirping of birds.
A horse will go out of its way to avoid a Seventh Day Adventist.
Horses are particularly fond of pregnant women.
When a horse is shown pictures of beautiful mountains
its brain begins to produce theta waves.
Horses love to be visited by horses from other countries.
Horses hate it when you run your fingernails down the blackboard.

- David McFadden